April 10, 2016
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A Self Help Poem
April 9th NPM.
Being a sandwich kid was not easy. Nothing came easy. There were times when I was ridiculed because of my height. Indian girls were not very tall and here I was growing up like a freak, tall and extremely thin. I became painfully shy. Siblings and mother would always criticize my looks, telling me how I was so different in looks, meaning of course that I was ugly, and while my sisters would get married into good homes, I would probably spend my life as a spinster! And this continued until I went into medical school.
For the first time people started complimenting me about my height, and my looks. And gradually the inferiority complex that I had for almost two decades, started to wash off. I told myself that I could do whatever I wanted, and be good at it. The quote that kept hovering in the periphery of my mind was “True magnanimity consists not in ever falling, but getting up every time you fall!”
Beautiful calm childhood,
turbulent teenage years
words that clawed into soul,
searing and tearing it into shame;
my heart, wanting love, loving each
and every one, got shunned
at every corner;My spirit refused to cower,
I persevered, held my head high and ignored
the anger and the attitude and the grief;
Away from home, I was recognized by different people
with different colors, and different languages.
I learned to stand up, laugh, love, and showed
respect, to all who had hurt, and who
pretended to forget they had hurt me.The best thing I did, was to leave home--
I helped myself--
I didn’t want to just exist--
I showed my world,
that I could live and laugh and love!ZSA_MD April 9th. 2016
Comments (9)
You showed everybody, and then some!
Love this.
I was terrible in school---awful. Barely, graduated from high school. Then mom convinced me to try a new junior college. I knew it was ridiculous. Lol Teachers came to my mother and told her I could never succeed in college. They wanted her to try and stop me to avoid a big disappointment.
I met Dr. Hubbard at college. He mentored me. For the first time in my life, I studied. 4-A's, and 2 B's. My mother must have told everyone in town--especially the teachers.
You found out the opposite was true of what people said about you.
How many kids are crawling with talent that will live barren lives because they did not have encouragement?
Loved your poem--spoke to me.
Learning to hear your own voice - or to even have a voice of your own is a struggle some never win. I like you and your voice giving words to that universal song of the spirit!!
Thank you for writing this. I was so painfully shy that I often felt the same.
*sigh* I hope this works. I can't log into xanga anymore.
meanwhile, i loved learning this, from you, about how it was for you, growing up. anyone would think you must have it had it easy, being smart and beautiful, and yet. and yet, here you are, smart and beautiful. wonderful.
Thank you Kim. I hope you can see my reply here. I did have it easy, as a child, with family and friends; it was just that I never felt the love at all. Whenever some love was shown, it felt like there was no warmth in it. I was happy, and tried to make others happy, regardless of the frowns. But the good part is, I am happy now, and I ADORE my children and their children.
I thank you for the softness of your thoughts and the love that seeps from them. <3
@HUMOR_ME_NOW: Yay, Frank! How cool that your teachers were humbled by your achievements. The world is a better place because of you.
@ata_grandma: Long long time ago. Stories like these stay on in the mind, no?
@murisopsis: Thank you Val. I cannot honestly say that I had a bad childhood. It was average and fairly good. But unfortunately I was not liked like my other siblings were loved. That oftentimes feels like a thorn just under the surface of the skin.
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